Walking a Fine Line
by ncfan
Summary: I remember when Grandfather died. /Spoilers./


I own nothing.

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I remember when Grandfather died. To be honest, I didn't really do a whole lot of crying when I found out he was dead. He was a horrible person, a real ass (though Mom wouldn't want me saying things like that); he was always drunk and going on about his black magic. There were a couple of times when he would hit me for doing something that offended him, though Dad put a stop to that pretty much as soon as he found out.

So like I said, I wasn't really sad to find out he'd died. But I still remember the day as clearly as though it was yesterday. Probably because I was told to act as though he wasn't really dead.

It was Mom who came and told me. I know it's Dad who's the heir to the headship of the Ushiromiya family (and is really the head now, which would make _me _the heir), but Mom's the one really running the show. She was the one who called all the shots when it came with what to do about Grandfather dying, and she was the one who told me that he was dead, and what I needed to do.

Mom came and told me that Grandfather was dead. She was really spare on the details, but that was okay; I really didn't want to know. I'm not one of those girls who goes around cemeteries at night trying to see if they can find a corpse down with all the ashes. If your relative's died, okay, I'm sorry, just please don't tell me how he kicked the bucket. All fine and well; I put on the appropriate "in decorous mourning suitable for an heir to the Ushiromiya family" face to please her. But then…

"Jessica, you must listen to me; what I am telling you now is very important, and you must obey me. You are not to tell anyone that your grandfather has died. Not your cousins, your yours aunts and uncles, nor your friends at school or your teachers. You are not to speak of him as though he is dead. As far as you are concerned, your grandfather is still alive."

"M-Mom?"

That floored me. I must have been staring at her with my mouth open and my eyes wide open too, because Mom shook her head at me and rubbed her forehead like she does when she's getting a headache. "I know this is difficult for you, Jessica." She sounded like it was all she could do not to start shouting. Too calm, with her voice shaking a bit. "It must seem like a strange and bizarre request, and I know you must think that this is a disrespectful thing to do. But I need you to do this for me and your father, Jessica. The future of our family depends upon it."

"How longer are we gonna be saying that Grandfather's not dead?" I asked weakly. I really couldn't think of anything else to say.

Probably because of how upset she was, Mom didn't say anything about my "rough language." "For as long as we need to." She didn't sound like she was going to cry; her eyes were pretty red, though. She didn't even sound angry. She just sounded tired, and I nodded meekly, still completely thrown by all of this.

I still kinda wish I hadn't agreed to help Mom and Dad cover up Grandfather's death. I didn't like the old man, but I didn't want him to die, and just shutting his body up in his study without even giving him a proper burial seemed like a really lousy thing to do. Back then when Mom first asked me to keep my mouth shut, I didn't know why she was telling me to do that. I wrestled with what I should do. Should I help Mom and Dad, even though they didn't tell me why they were keeping Grandfather's death a secret? Should I tell someone, like one of my aunts or uncles? Should I tell one of my teachers, or the police? In the end, I kept my mouth shut, more because I was afraid of my parents getting in trouble than because I wanted Grandfather to get a decent burial or anything like that.

It was a couple of months later when I found out why I think Mom and Dad were hiding Grandfather's death, and honestly, I found out completely on accident. Dad had left some papers out on the parlor table by accident, and I was the one who found them. What I saw there stunned me. Now look. My dad's not a bad businessman. He's got great business sense. But I've been listening in on some of my parents' conversations, and I know that Dad doesn't always have the best judgment in who to trust as a business partner. He's a bit too optimistic. Bottom of the line, though, what I realized is that Dad's pretty badly in debt.

_This is disgusting_, I'd thought; I probably would have crumpled up the papers and used them for basketballs if I hadn't been afraid of how Dad would react when he found out. To this day, I still don't know everything that's going on with my parents financially, but I sort of put two and two together. _That's why they won't tell any of the family that Grandfather's dead, because of money? They're trying to keep it in the dark because Dad's in debt? _I didn't and still don't put much store by money and monetary success, and it seemed like a horrible thing to do, covering up a man's death until you could get yourself out of debt. I hate to admit it, but I've never really looked at either of my parents the same way since then. Whenever I do, it's hard not to see them with their mercenary motivations.

Nothing really changed after that, though. Sure, I finally saved up enough of my allowance to buy that electric guitar I'd wanted (and had to hide it at my school; Dad would probably be alright, but Mom would hit the roof and make me get rid of it), but other than that, it was the same old life. Mom and Dad covered up Grandfather's death, and I covered for them. Things would get pretty dicey when our relatives would come for the family conferences or at other times of the years—I think Aunt Eva must suspect that something's up, because every time she comes here she gets more insistent on wanting to talk to him face to face.

But you know, I think I'm starting to enjoy it. I know, it sound sick, but I kinda do enjoy giving my relatives the run-around when it comes to Grandfather. It's sort of like a sick adrenaline rush, like what you'd get from bungee-jumping off a cliff. There's a long moment when you're absolutely terrified that cord'll snap and you'll just plummet down to your death, but when the cord doesn't snap and you're bouncing around it's like you're walking on air. Except not that literally. I know I shouldn't get such a kick out of fooling my cousins, but I do; besides, I think it's the closest me and Mom ever come to really seeing eye-to-eye.

I'm probably the only one who enjoys it, though. I was talking about it to Shannon this morning when she came in my room during her morning break, wanting to know how she felt about it. Her face got really pale and she admitted that having to hide Grandfather's death from the rest of the family scared her a lot. I felt sorry for her; it occurred to me that for all I know, she's probably the one who _found _Grandfather's body. Then I remembered that we weren't supposed to talk about Grandfather being dead, and that Shannon would probably be scolded pretty harshly by Mom if Mom heard us talking.

Oh well. It's probably just better if I let the matter drop.


End file.
